Sexuality: Can Someone’s Early Years Have An Effect On What Turns Them On As An Adult?

As an adult, someone can believe that the things that arouse them are just the things that arouse them, and that all there is to it. However, what this wouldn’t take into account is the part that their early years may have played in why something in particular has this effect on them.

If, for example, someone had some kind of fetish, this may cause them to wonder how they ended up this way. Then again, this could also just be seen as being part of who they are, with them being born this way.

One Experience

So, if someone didn’t have any fetishes and was only aroused by ‘normal’ things, there is going to be no reason for them to question what turns them on. These could also be things that their friends find arousing.

This could mean that one will enjoy engaging in foreplay and appreciate a number of different positions. One is then not going to need another person to wear a certain outfit in order to get in the mood.

Another Experience

On the other hand, if someone found that they were not turned on by ‘normal’ things, they could wonder why this is. If they were to talk about this area of their life with their friends, they may find that they are different.

Engaging in foreplay and experiencing different position is then not going to be enough for them. Or if this is something that they enjoy, they may find that they need other things to take place at the same time to be able to enjoy themselves.

Out of Touch

Still, even if someone likes this was to take a step back and to think about why they need to experience certain things in order to feel aroused, it doesn’t mean that anything will come to mind. This is likely to illustrate that their mind has lost touch with what has played a part in why they experience life in this way.

One way that their conscious mind protects them is by losing touch with things that are painful, which probably explains why they can’t see why they are the way they are. Being this way stops them from being able to connect the dots, so to speak, but it also stops their mind from being overwhelmed by the content that is in their unconscious mind.

A Clear Intention

This doesn’t mean that there is nothing that they can do to open up this part of them and to come into contact with the reasons why their life is this way. By having the desire to find out and reading up on this area, they will gradually come into contact with the information that is within them.

Nonetheless, if someone does take this route, it may show that their fetishes are causing them problems. If this wasn’t the case, there would be the need for them to look deeper.

A Few Examples

One may find that unless they have sex outside, it is not possible for them to really get in the mood. Or, they may find that people their age or close to it don’t really do it for them; they need to go with someone who is decades older.

Conversely, they may find that they need someone to physically harm them to be able to be sexually aroused. This could mean that they need to be strangled, hit or whipped, for instance.

A Big Difference

It wouldn’t be right to put all of these examples in the same box, as needing to have sex outside is not going to be the same as needing to be hit. In the first instance, one could find somewhere that is out of the way, thereby lowering their chances of anything negative happening.

But in the second instance, needing to be hit is going to cause them to be harmed and it may mean that they end up with people who are abusive. In a case like this, it is going to be vital for them to look into why this needs to happen for them to be aroused and to do something about it.

A Closer Look

When someone experiences something as an adult that unconsciously reminds them of something that occurred during their early years, it will allow them to re-experience something that is associated as being familiar at a deeper level. The early experience will be played out again, allowing them to experience the same feelings.

Unconsciously, they will have the need to experience what is familiar, and this is because what is familiar is classed as what is safe to this part of them. What this then means is that even though something sexually arouses them as an adult, it doesn’t necessarily mean that there was anything sexual about the original experience/s.

Repetition Compulsion

With this in mind, if someone needs to have sex outside to get aroused, it could mean that there was a time during their early years when they were playing outside with another child, both of them were naked, and ended up being shamed for doing so. Having sex outside as an adult is then going to unconsciously remind them of this highly charged emotionally experience.

If someone needs to be physically harmed to get aroused, it could show that there was a time during their early years when they were physically abused. Once again, being hit will bring back all of the emotional energy that they experienced whenever they were hit.


Although these early experiences would have been painful and their conscious mind will do everything it can to keep these feelings at bay, their unconscious mind will cause them to recreate experiences that match up with what took place. Recreating what took place all those years ago is also a way of them to resolve what took place.

Their unconscious mind is manifesting these experiences to enlighten their conscious mind, with the hope that this part of them will face what is has avoided. By facing these parts and resolving them, one will be able to become a more integrated human being.

If one can relate to this, and they want to work through their inner wounds, they may need to reach out for external support. This is something that can take place with the assistance of a therapist or a healer.